I am the story of my own Heartbreak.

My heart still gives a silent cry
My tears haven’t run dry
Tired of putting false smiles
I let the pain take over me
In the darkness of the night
With no one to see the ghost within
I loudly weep in the dark night
Darkness spreads its vicious tentacles
As it pierces the depth of my heart
It seems as if it invades my soul
As slowly the golden heart turns black and cold.

I am the story of my own heartbreak. I kill my own heart every day

The darkness in my own eyes haunts me and torments me during sleepless nights
the broken remains of a broken heart.

Memories of the past remain in my heart – but not in my future.

I lift my head up high and motivate myself because I love me and have come to realize that the silent cry my heart has is healing in progress, the tears that flow wash away the sadness I feel. Before my heart turns black and cold once again I count my blessings and hold onto all the love ones around me, I was the story of my own heartbreak but from here on in I will be the story of my happy ending. I choose not to kill my heart anymore for I only have one, and the darkness and broken remains are not my future anymore.

I took a leap of Faith, I chose to seek Help and I found it. “You Can TOO”

Care to Share…

There’s so many people out there pretending to know what I feel and what I’m going through “PLEASE STOP” I am not BROKEN I CAN’T BE FIXED.

That’s so true no one knows your story, no one knows your pain, you aren’t broken and you can’t be fixed, but you can share your story and save others from facing the same challenges you have. You can share your feelings so we can understand what you feel, you might not be broken but your hearts falling apart so share your emotions and let us try and understand what you feel. Nothing can fix your heart or what’s happened in the past but forgiveness, sharing, understanding and helping others by talking about your past will heal your wounds, help you get closure and help others at the same time.

Send me your inspirational stories and I will post them next week. manoamica911@gmail.com

Make it or break it

So you wake up each day and convince yourself that you are going to be okay, but are you really? You’re smiling on the outside yet crying on the inside.
Saying you’re fine when in actual fact you are not.
Hoping that someone will pick up on the signs of depression that is like – hoping to get exactly what you want for your birthday without asking for it. The only way that will happen is if you speak up, so when you’re feeling low and down and out, think a little deeper as to why and what the cause may be.
I found that so often we suppress our feelings hoping that they will miraculously just disappear, but it never does. It might be hidden in your subconscious for a while, but eventually something happens and it triggers all those memories.
You could be watching a movie, the news or listening to the radio and bam it all hits you like a ton of bricks. “Not like you’ve ever felt a ton of bricks fall on you” but I’m pretty sure you get my drift.
When all those feelings overcome you, you can lose yourself within yourself.
Speak up, Seek help, Take a chance, Trust just one more time.

You don’t have anything to lose!!

Live, Laugh, Love you don’t have to do all 3 at once, but for now choose one and make it work. Wake up each morning and take a look in your mirror, “now now ladies don’t admire yourselves” do a bit of positive self talk and guys we know that you love the mirror too (and no selfies just yet.)

“Today will be the best day of my life” I choose to be Happy” I am Beautiful” okay okay guys you can say “Damn I’m good looking” or whatever tickles your fancy, point is positive self talk will help you out of depression.

Everyone messes up sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Don’t dwell on the negative. Refocus your thoughts—and your self-talk—on how you’ll prevent something similar in the future. Acknowledge that you have dealt with the mistake. Then move on. Mistakes are just lessons.
Be the change you want to see in yourself. It’s a popular saying because it’s true, but change is easier to say than to do. Self-talk is a good first step toward real change. Say it, believe it, and you can pave the way toward action. You choose your life. (Make it or break it) Choice is yours!!!

Destroy what Destroys You!

Are you an addict?
Are you on Drugs?
Are you skipping school?
Are you drinking??????????

JUST STOP WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS!!!!!!

I will deny everything anyway, so why ask me dumb questions.

Any of that sound familiar? We often faced with questions we too afraid to answer. We don’t want the world to know we need help and yet somewhere deep down there’s a cry for help fighting to get out.

Let go of all the hate, the pain, the anger, the sex, the drugs, the alcohol and everything that impacts your life negatively. You are your greatest accomplishment, you are your greatest success stop standing in your own way.

Channel all those emotions into something positive and don’t give me that crap about there being nothing positive left in life, there is always someone worse off than you. Stand up, Stand Strong and help me help you.
I’m not here to force anything upon you but I am here to let you know that your life is not over. Turn the page after all it’s blank and you have the opportunity to fill that page with either the same old crap of today or change it and write something beautiful. IT’S YOUR LIFE!! YOU CHOOSE!!

Re post- With a tear in my eye and hope in my heart…

Today I’d like to talk to you about Mothers day.
What does it mean to you? How does it make you feel?

From a personal opinion coming from someone that’s never known what it’s like to have a mum I just hope that each and every one of you young and old cherish what you have.

I’ve never known, How it feels to be told by your mum “I love you” Well done” “I’m proud of you” You are beautiful” so I know some of you have mums and yet don’t hear those things but you know what’s the most important thing “YOU HAVE A MUM” change is just a heartbeat away. For me its just a pain in my heart.

I never had what most of you have. A big hug and a kiss when you are in need and your world is falling apart. It doesn’t matter who or what your mum is, make amends even just for a minute, an hour or a day.

Appreciate your mom and try to understand things from her perspective. Sometimes mums lose themselves between trying to take care of you, your dad, the dog, the household chores etc and we tend to forget “she’s human too”.
Believe it or not she also has feelings just as you, as you hurt, she hurts, when you cry, she cries too, when your heart breaks, hers shatters. Oh how I wish that I had a mum to spoil.

If you are not talking to your mom start before it’s too late. If you haven’t seen her in a long time, take time out and go and see her, before its too late. Even if you have the smallest chance of making her happy “DO IT” before its too late. As for me if I knew where my mum was I know I surely would. For those of you that have lost your mums through death, you are still luckier than I am, you had her and you have your memories in your heart.#blessed beyond measure

Let this mothers day be one that your mother will remember forever!!

Powerful Beyond measure!!!

Unless you Puke, Faint or DIE Keep Going!

 

Depression is a serious but treatable disorder. It affects millions of people young and old. It gets in the way of everyday life, it can cause tremendous pain and hurt not just to you but also to those around you.If you are feeling depressed these are some of the emotions you should take note of – “helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, and sadness.”These feelings are all normal. It’s not easy dealing with depression and if you don’t take care of yourself, it can become overwhelming.

Depression is a serious condition. Don’t underestimate the seriousness of depression as it drains your energy, optimism, and motivation. You can’t just “snap out of it” by sheer force of will.Depression makes it difficult for you to connect on a deep emotional level with anyone, even the people you love the most.In addition, you might often say hurtful things and lash out in anger but remember that’s the depression talking not you.Try and find someone you can confide in, a friend, guardian or anyone who will be there to lend an ear because hiding the problem won’t make it go away.
It doesn’t help anyone involved. Making excuses, covering up the problem, or lying just makes it worse and keeps you from seeking help. 

Depression clouds your judgment and distorts your thinking, causing you as a normally rational person to believe that drugs, alcohol and suicide is the only way to end the pain you are feeling. Self talk is what you need because nothing I say or a shrink tells you will work if you don’t believe it.

From me just know

You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, minute — whatever you can manage.You are important and Your life is important. Keep going…. Tomorrow might not be promised but it’s reassuring to know it’s there. 

 

 

 

Am I good enough?

Many of us feel like we have to earn our self-worth. But in reality, we don’t need to do anything at all. We are enough just as we are. Do you feel like you should be different then you are? “thinner, more talented, more confident, smarter, more disciplined. Feelings of “not being good enough” creates low self esteem, insecurity, anger, and a sense of false belief. For longing to be a part of something we tend to forget what is right and what is wrong. We so badly want to be noticed that we end up hurting those we love and ourselves along the way.We follow in the footsteps of those who entice us with everything that looks like fun.
How far would you go just to have a good time? What would you do to prove you belong, what would you do to spite your parents because you hate your circumstances at home?
So many questions so little answers ….Depression, Sex, Drugs, Alcohol abuse, Suicide these are just a few things that you believe is a way out. Is it Really??? What I realized, over time, was that I had been measuring “enough” in all the wrong ways. Enough isn’t about what I do or don’t do, what I say or don’t say, or even who I appear to be; being “enough” is simple –it’s about being self confident, modest and true to yourself.